-
Nighttime,
and clouds are fusing together in electric detonations.
Extinction has become a shadow in the rain,
flanked by an entourage
of neon streaks and androgynous blurs,
both sinking into the asphalt
as silver spills across this schizophrenic sky
like the Rorschach explosions in Her frontal lobe.
She says she can feel herself corroding
between the rivets of her bones -
an evaporation of the mundane circuitry
that occupies the space amid her frame.
The faint scent of sabotaged conversations
lace the gasoline fumes that cling to her skin
while her shredded back
glitters with windshield wings.
I used to call her CJ,
“the disease that eats men’s brains.”
My shatterproof fairy,
embracing the earth with limp and gracious arms.
-
















Comments
while i am not a fan of similes, 'the Rorschach explosions in Her frontal lobe,' is simply delicious.
i find some weakness in the last two lines of the 4th stanza, perhaps it is the awkward internal rhyme of 'skin' and 'wings.'
there is also something about the, 'My,' that doesn't work for me.
nonetheless, overall it is a very subtle impression. i've sucked it in and breathed it out.
beautiful imagry all the way through
--
just imaginary....
windshield wings.
schizophrenic sky
^sex
'The faint scent of sabotaged conversations
lace the gasoline fumes that cling to her skin'
My shatterproof fairy,
embracing the earth with limp and gracious arms.
^sex (oh how extensive i am in my deconstruction)
shatterproof fairy,
+
'embracing .... limp and gracious arms.'
both smell of contradiction, and 'shatterproof fairy' is a great title. such contradiction implies to me that she doesn't know what she wants.
i'll soak in it again some time.
"She says she can feel herself corroding
between the rivets of her bones"
The high point for me.
But the imagery throughout is wonderful.
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